Early career leaders often fall into habits that feel inauthentic to them, because they want to come across a certain way to their stakeholders – as credible, or as in control, or as trustworthy etc.

In developmental psychology, this is known as the socialized mind, where we are defined by the expectations of others, and we shape-shift to meet them.

As they mature, the desire to be performative is overcome by the desire to be themselves. People reach this point at different times – some early and some later. But they eventually move in this direction.

They are moving toward the self-authoring mind, where they no longer keep looking outside for their definition of reality.

They still want to be effective and results-oriented, but they also want to be human, feel at ease and be genuine. This is a common thread that connects all the leaders I work with. They are trying to integrate the role and the soul.

Initially, these desires may appear at odds with each other. Some of our initial coaching conversations revolve around opening a possibility for reconciling these and visioning a reality where they can coexist.

The first invitation I have for these leaders is to slow down. Especially when things are too vague. We make sure we are onboard with what we want from our coaching engagement.

When an organization is sponsoring their coaching – which happens a lot of the time, as many orgs can create budgets for their leaders when they ask for it – leaders often feel constrained, believing their growth must be strictly limited to corporate objectives, or if the HR will know what is happening inside the coaching conversations.

So we clarify the expectations, lay ground rules for confidentiality and focus on ensuring what the company wants is fueled by what the leader personally wants.

After a bit of exploration, when we arrive at possibilities for outcomes, I have noticed consistently that the leaders I work with are interested in exploring new ways of perceiving their situations, and in cultivating different ways of being themselves in those situations. While some start with ‘what should I do in this situation?’, they eventually move towards ‘what does this tell me about me, and who do I want to be?’

As I’ve written in the past, these are not always workplace related. Sometimes, it is about personal life, and they are all connected because it is the same person’s life.

And so they show up to our conversations simply as a human being talking in confidence about how they can be more at home in themselves and achieve their desires or goals.

There are certain roles and expectations that come with any position of power, but our work makes sure they can deliver on that without the role overtaking their entire personality.

Sometimes in more mature leaders, we encounter an eagerness in them to understand the whole structure of their mind and their personhood. This is a move towards a self-transforming mind.

If the socialized mind is ‘I will be what you think of me’, and the self-authoring mind is ‘I am who I say I am’, the self-transforming mind realizes that even ‘who I say I am’ is just a story, and wants to peek behind the limitations of that story.

This is the essence of Awakened Leadership. We are no longer defending a fixed identity or a rigid set of values and are open to holding multiple seemingly conflicting truths at once.

We can step into a role fully when the system needs it, and step out of it completely when the work is done, without losing ourselves in the transition.

The ultimate goal of our work is not just to help you become a better leader, or even a more authentic human. It is also to help you become fluid, capable of transforming not just your organization, but yourself, to meet the complexity of the moment. All this while feeling completely alive, joyous and at home with yourself. This is my invitation of Awakened Leadership to you.