The industry standard for executive presence is Gravitas, Communication, and Appearance. To lower our vocal register, stand with an open posture, dress for the role, and speak with decisiveness. Here, presence is simply a substitute word for whatever signals credibility.
These can be useful instructions. They approach leadership as a performance, and presence as a series of levers to pull to manipulate how others perceive us.
And while this approach can get you promoted, it comes with a hidden price that most leaders pay regularly: the cognitive cost of self-monitoring, and the constant pretense of trying to be someone.
This approach to executive presence emerged from noticing what it looks like from the outside and trying to imitate it.
Imagine you are in a mathematics class and the professor writes 2×2=4. You can copy that with no understanding of the process of multiplication.
Clearly, there isn’t anything ‘awakened’ about mimicking the outer shape of a leader while feeling hollow inside.
The Cognitive Cost
When you are ‘trying’ to demonstrate more executive presence, you are engaging in self-monitoring. You are essentially running two operating systems simultaneously:
There is the part of you observing yourself and pretending to be different than you think you are.
There is the part of you actually trying to navigate the challenge, connect with the human being in front of you, or envision the future.
The human brain has limited capacity. When we focus on how we are being perceived—monitoring our voice, checking our posture, analyzing the room for approval, we are anything but ‘present’.
Research in cognitive psychology indicates that high self-monitoring acts as a secondary task.
The result is a reduction in available cognitive bandwidth. You are less able to listen, less able to synthesize complex information, and less able to respond with agility.
The harder you try to look like a leader, the less capacity you have available to be a leader.
Every bit of energy you spend monitoring your own performance is energy stolen from your intuition. You might not be fully present to your reality and to your stakeholders, because you are too busy being present with your image.
This is a presence that looks polished but feels hollow to you from within. From the outside, people can sense the calculation and the performance even when they cannot pinpoint it.
Additive vs Subtractive Presence
Awakened executive presence is not an act of addition of new skills; it is an act of subtraction.
It is the removal of the interference caused by the ego’s need to be seen a particular way. We can create the space for the natural authority and presence in you to emerge. Because presence is a fundamental character of your consciousness.
And instead of posing to be different from how you are, you can be more of yourself and be at home with yourself. Imagine how effortless and enjoyable that would feel.
Instead of asking “How do I look? Am I sounding authoritative? Is this the right hand gesture?”
We can ask: “What is true right now? What does this system need?”
When you drop the self-monitoring, you reclaim that cognitive bandwidth. You are no longer processing your own image; you are processing the subtle signals of the room, the fear in a team member’s eyes, the unspoken hesitation in a client’s voice, the systemic friction that data hasn’t captured yet.
Accept and Transcend
We must acknowledge that appearance, voice, and clarity matter, if these are the protocols of the system we operate in.
If you show up in pajamas and mumble, the system might reject you before you can do any good. These are just about respecting hygiene, and not about presence.
But instead of posturing for gravitas, you can ground yourself in your breath. Instead of performing listening, you can actually learn to empty your mind and listen. Instead of being vigilant and protecting your ego, you can develop a new relationship with your ego.
You still look like a corporate executive and speak the language of business. You can still wear the suit if you want. But your internal operating system can shift.
You can simply be there. And everyone will feel that energetic presence around you.
This looks like a paradox: by trying less to impress, you become infinitely more impressive. Instead of performing the signals of credibility, these signals naturally emerge because you actually are credibly present.
You become a stillness in the center of the corporate storm. This is the only executive presence that endures the ups and downs. And this is the only executive presence that will still feel like being yourself.
So you can mimic executive presence the additive way by trying to add more things to do, or uncover your existing presence by removing the interference, and let that inform how you show up and what you do as a leader.
One will only slightly change how you are perceived. The other will change your life and those around you for good.
