Yesterday, I was invited to respond to a question in a coaching group. One of the members wanted to know whether or not they were providing enough value to their clients.

While I made a video clarifying it for them, I realized that we all tackle with this question in a more fundamental form – in our relationships and in our work.

In our personal relationships, it takes the form of ‘Am I a good enough partner or parent or friend?’

At work, it sounds more like ‘Am I making enough of a difference?’

At the core of all these questions is the question ‘Is what I am bringing to the table valuable enough?’

And my question to you is, ‘Valuable enough according to whom?’

You see, value is a subjective concept. You might have the heard the adage ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure’. What is of one particular value to you can be of a totally different value to me.

This might be counterintuitive to understand if you look at money. You might say, ‘but the value of a dollar is the same for everyone.’

What a dollar can get might be the same, but the value of what it gets depends on the person getting it. Water in a desert is more valuable than water near a river – not because of economics but because of desire.

The more you desire something, the more value you will place on it.

In fact, even our personal core values are our deeply desired ideals. When I say that freedom is a core value for me, I am talking about an ideal that I desire to manifest in my life.

Now, coming back to the question of ‘Valuable enough according to whom?’, we often tend to answer that for ourselves rather than for others. We tend to judge ourselves based on how much value we think we are bringing to the table.

But the next time you get the question ‘Is what I am bringing to the table valuable enough?’, know that it depends on whoever is on the other side of the table, and there is no point in trying to answer it for yourself.

In your personal relationships, when you ask your partner about their love languages, you are essentially answering this question with ‘what’s valuable according to my partner’. 

At work, when you look at your yearly goals and performance report, you are answering it with ‘what’s valuable according to my firm’.

Whoever is on the other side of your table, how about you take a minute and ask them?

With all my love,

Rishi